Sunday, August 21, 2011

llegas cuando estoy a punto de olvidarte

People often wonder how it is that I can remember the slightest detail of a story that happened 5 years ago. They wonder how I can retain so much information about one event. I'm hoping that the following paragraph will help you realize what actually goes on inside of my mind. What I wrote sounds morbid but I assure you it's for dramatic effect more than anything.

It's a dark pit. It's blackness is so deep you feel you could jump into it and swim around. You can't see anything because the darkness has painted everything. Someone has taken a brush and splattered blindness on every wall and into every corner. If you reach out towards anything you're swept away into a memory that you can't seem to escape. There are canals made for draining this black sea but they have been clogged by a natural dam of bottled in emotions. Every hurtful thing that was said to me or by me is stuck in this void. Every depressing thing that was ever built up into this blackness has never escaped. The secrets meant only for me are still trapped. Cobwebs have formed, with their intricate detail, on every single one of them. Years of memories that can't seem to seep through the reservoir float upon the waters of blackness. I remember things in precise detail that happened in preschool. My earliest memory is when I was 2 years old. I can remember vividly everything about that memory. I have so many memories locked away inside of me that at times they all seem to press for my attention. I would give anything to be rid of some of them. You might say to yourself "big deal, I can remember a lot things as well". If this is you, then you don't really understand. If we've ever hung out or ever had a conversation then I remember it. I remember what we were doing and/or what we shouldn't have been doing. Seriously, ask me to share with you a memory of you and I and I'll be as descriptive with it as I am with this post. Now, I don't have a perfect memory. My mind is so busy shoveling in events that it hardly ever has time to remember someones name. I can't remember phone numbers to save my life. But, once I do know your name or your number I will never forget it. This blackness inside my head is never ending. Every day new memories are formed but no old memories are erased. I walk around in a constant day dream of times I've had and conversations that no one remembers but me.


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