Sunday, March 1, 2015

Thoracicsorus rex!

My wife told me that I need to write about what's in my chest.  Well, my heart is an organ that sits in my chest cavity.  I told one of my friends the other night (A), that it's a black heart that lies in the farthest and darkest corner in the back of my chest.  The passage way to get to it is so full of cobwebs and dust that it blocks all light that tries to break through it.  There is also something that pops out to bite anyone who tries to find it.  My heart pumps blood through my arteries to all parts of my body.  It pumps a wheel barrel full of sarcasm, greed, anger, and lust.  There has been a lack of happiness, joy, and empathy to pump through lately, but I think it's trying to cook some up (I have been nauseated).  When I say lately, I mean like ten years.  So, those who know my present lifestyle choices can't say it's because I'm making "going to hell" decisions (once again I'm sorry to my Mormon readers).   I also have veins that pump all of this sarcasm, greed, anger, and lust back to my heart causing it to become black.  Now, you know the reasons for it's ungodly colour!

 I also have two lungs.  They tend to hang out in the front of my chest causing me a lot of grief.  I often feel like there are little rocks stuck in my ventricles.  When I breathe it feels like my lungs are trying to poke me with little needles.  It's fun, unless I'm trying to get something done.  I often have to stop whatever I'm doing and baby them until they stop playing their masochistic games. Yes, I have gone to a doctor.  It's called Pleurisy(click on the word Pleurisy to learn more about it), and it isn't that rocks are clogging my ventricles.  It's that the lining between my lungs and chest cavity is inflamed.  It often has an underlying cause, which causes the inflammation, but they have never found that in me.  My lungs just don't like to be bullied.

Oh, did I mention that I have an enlarged spleen and like soup?  I know that they have nothing to do with the chest but it's still cool to know!  Go Spleen!


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