1. I was able to get all of my work done in a timely manner and thus was able to come home early.
2. I discovered the sweet sounds of spotify.
3. I was able to take nap, which helped me not be too grumpy.
4. I was able to sleep until 5 AM.
5. I went to a parent teacher conference for Paige, only to find out that she is excelling in everything that she does...being bossy included.
6. School started today and for the first time I didn't feel overwhelmed about the amount of work I'm about to get myself into.
Now, for the letter. I hope you keep an open-mind and don't jump to quick conclusions about the purpose of it. It is intended to help my friends and family understand what is happening in my life. I originally wrote this with Melissa so I'm changing the "we" to "I" since this is my blog. Forgive me if I have forgotten to change anything. Also, this is a truncated version of the entire letter. I'm hoping that what I do share with you will make sense.
Dear Family and Friends,
First, I want to say how amazing you all are. You have all, on an individual basis, bettered my family in one way or another. I am glad for the associations that I have with each and every one of you and hope that these relationships can only deepen in the future.
I’m sure that you are all wondering why I am writing you a letter. I have a few things that I would like to say and a letter seems to be the best way for me to get this across to all of you. I seem to be more eloquent with my words when I write them down. That being said, I am only responsible for what I am here to say, not what you understand. I hope that you take what I say seriously, but also that you won’t allow these words to change your attitude towards me.
It seems lately that I have found myself on a journey of discovery. I have been searching, studying, praying, exploring, and every other word that you can think of to say that I am on an adventure of a lifetime, an experience of existence. I want to explore everything that the world has to offer. I want to laugh and cry for no reason at all. I want to explore my spirituality for everything that it is. I want to pray in foreign countries, in whatever temple of worship I find myself. I want to travel to every part of the world. I want to climb the highest peak and plunge into the deepest watery depths. I want to wake up in foreign countries and eat unorthodox foods. I don’t want to sit here idly and watch as this amazing experience called life passes me by.
When I say that I have been searching, it’s not something I’ve been doing passively. I have been anxiously engaged in trying to figure out what makes me happy and where I want to see my life going. I have journeyed into the past and have spent many years exploring who I am. I’ve wept as I have remembered the hardships. I've laughed as I conversed about the moments that made my life exciting. I’ve journeyed into the future and envisioned the unknown. I've been enchanted with every possible future I have been able to see. I have also been living in the moment, realizing that in order for the future that I want to happen, I must plan now. I have slowly started to discover what I want for my future and that what I have felt in the past might only harm me. I have opened my mind to the possibility that what I was once taught might not be what I want now nor in the future. I am slowly allowing myself to let go of the life that has held me back for so long. I am discovering who I am individually.
I have begun to find peace in my life. I am finally ready to settle down and find a forever home. Since my family began, I have been trying to figure out where I fit in. I have moved around every year, trying to find my little notch, only to discover that once I figured out who I was individually, I could figure out what I wanted for my family. I have spent the six and a half years that I have had my own family trying to appease everyone and not step on any toes. I have been passive-aggressively trying to make my own decisions without hurting anyone. It was only when one of you told me that I needed to stop all of this passive-aggressive bull crap that I was able to start thinking for myself. This is when the harmony came flooding in. This is when I started to move on.
I am now living for my family. I want to share the love that I have with all of you, but if you don’t have time to reciprocate, I don’t have time to sit around and wait. I'm not trying to be rude or unfair when I say this, I am simply stating that I don’t have time to waddle around trying not to step on people’s feet anymore.
I am moving on and exploring a new life. I am welcoming you all on my journey of exploration. I hope to share my experiences with you and hope that you enjoy discovering things with me.